Gillette Flexball

I will give Gillette credit. The Mach3 is probably the best razor ever invented. Kudos. You won. End of story.

But that wasn't good enough. Then came the Fusion. Five blades, a couple extra bucks per cartridge. Never really go into them. Didn't see the need for 2 extra blades or the added expense. But whatev.

Then they went too far. Five blades just wasn't "cutting it" anymore. Now they needed five THINNER blades, hence the Fusion "ProGlide." (Did I mention I have to try ALL of this crap?) Not only do the five thinner blades NOT provide a closer shave than the Mach3, they become dull QUICKER! Crooks. (The only advantage to the ProGlide is that it does swipe across your face as though there's nothing there. For about three shaves. Then it feels like your sliding a dull pocket knife across your puss.)

I failed to add you can get vibrating handles for ALL of these variations. The vibrating model costs more, naturally. And I honestly believe they give a worse shave. Yeah, that's what I need right before I swipe five incredibly sharp blades across my face; a case of the shakes.

This is old news but Gillette NOW brings us the Fusion ProGlide "Flexball."

Is it just me, or does the Flexball put you in the mind of THIS?

With this in mind, here's a suggested ad slogan: The Gillette Fusion Proglide Flexball...You won't believe how much it sucks!

Here's my review:

The blades are EXACTLY the same. The ONLY diff is the handle. It sways side to side. The head already swiveled. The first time I used it, I'm about to make razor to face contact and I hear my father's voice. And I'm wondering what my dearly departed dad is doing in the shower with me. (Yes, I shave in the shower. Attempt to get THAT mental image out of your head.) But, to my relief it was just a flashback. I'm 14 or so, and I distinctly remember dear old dad telling me NEVER to swipe a blade side to side. Good advice! WTH, Gillette? So, I shave as usual.

Gillette claims the "flexball" cuts 20% more hair and 20% closer. The verdict? It's the EXACT same result as the old version.

This bad boy also comes with a vibrating model. It vibrates, sways from side to side, AND empties your wallet!

I'll probably use up the overpriced blades and go back to the tried and true Mach3. Of course until Gillette introduces a new model that talks to me while I shave and tells me what a great guy I am.

End of rant. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. I'm sure during the commercial break you'll see an ad featuring the Flexball...